Friday, January 9, 2009

THE WORLD WILL END FRIDAY AT 3:17 PM

Friday afternoon, Dick Cheney sits down with a reporter for one final Jedi mind trick.

The idea is Cheney will hypnotize the reporter, brain wash him, and then have him spread the brain washing to the American public. It’s nothing new, but now after 8 years, there’re a lot of loose ends and a lot of material to cover. It’s a big fucking job.

“You are getting sleepy.”

“Your friends and family have abandoned you.”

“Nobody loves and protects you but me.”

~whah whah whah whah whah~

“Okay, here goes: the mortgage crisis is not our fault, the credit crisis is not our fault, rocketing unemployment is not our fault, the deficit is not our fault, we did not botch 9/11, we are not listening to your phone calls, Iraq is a just war…”

Cheney is on a roll, but even to convince a hypnotized and brainwashed journalist that ‘Iraq is a just war,’ he has to manifest so much evil power, that the force becomes unwieldy.

Cheney loses control of the evil and it explodes onto the earth.

The entire Earth quakes. Every mountain, hill, and pile of dirt on the planet erupts as a super volcano, spitting hot, molten Cheney across the Earth and killing us all. It’s 3:17 PM EST Friday, and the world has ended.

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