Friday, January 16, 2009

THE WORLD WILL END THIS FRIDAY AT 8:17 PM EST

It all starts Friday morning when Bush starts to say his goodbyes.

“Goodbye Johnny. I think it’s only fair to warn you, I will ruin your life one more time before the day is done.”

“Goodbye Secretary of Education lady. Sorry I never met you until now.”

“Adios Vladimir. Eres un amigo muy bueno.”

“Well, I guess we shouldn’t say goodbye ‘till after you serve dinner… oh…really? Of Ghana? Huh.”

“Goodbye good Korean guy with a bouffant. This is the good one, right?”

“Here’s to controlling the masses. Take it sleazy, Popey.”

“Dmitry! You’re a fucking bastard, and I fuckin’ love you for it! You take care, buddy!”

“Goodbye Reptiloid. I’m sorry we had to sacrifice our free market principles, but I think in time, history will show that giving billions of dollars to CEOs of failing banks was the right thing to do.”

“Goodbye sweet friend. Thank you for 9/11. I’ll miss these moments the most.”

“Okay George, 8 years are up, and I held up my end of the deal—now will you destroy those bloody pictures?”

“Easy there Tony. Don’t go crazy and fuck a sheep again.”

“Bye Bye Silvio Berlusconi. You gotta come see us in Texas sometime. We’ll show you how to do Italian food right—we got never ending pasta, lots of breadsticks, Laura loves the salad. We got lots of hospitaliano.”

“Goodbye Kenny Chesney. I know you’re gay.”   

“All done. Your country now. Bye.”

“Man, this is really tirin’ me out.”

“Hey Ruth, can you send in some coffee. Hey Ruth… Ruth! Hmm, intercom’s busted. I’m pushing the button, but… oh holy fuckin’ shit balls!”

It’s 8:17 PM EST and President Bush has finally killed us all.

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