Wednesday, February 4, 2009

AFGHANISTAN: NOW OR NEVER MIND... PHLOG

Just because Afghanistan has been an unrulable wasteland for thousands of years, despite countless efforts to fix it, doesn’t mean we can’t fix it now...”

“Look dude, we’re fucked. Just get out of here and save yourself.”

Even if it’s day-fucking-one, if you need a foam mat to practice crawling, you probably don’t have what it takes to police Afghanistan.

Seriously! Are you fucking kidding me?! The Afghani police look like a punchline in a Mexican sketch show.

Gomer Pyle, A.F.M.C.

That one shoe may not look like much to you and me, but in Afghanistan, it’s a pretty sweet find.

“Right, one kebab. You want that blackened or heroin crusted?”

Taliban militants or Tatooine larpers?

Yeah, but school district is good.”

I like that the kid with the rocket launcher is looking at the guy holding the camera like “what the fuck is in your hands?”

The purple glove told you he was French even before I could.

Italian artist Ernesto Lamagna speaks in an art class inside the Italian military base in Afghanistan. Not even kidding. 

“Let’s see-- 893,459 Afghani, that comes to… well, tell you what, just take this whole dollar and we’ll call it even.”

This could almost be a Norman Rockwell painting, if these kids weren’t watching an Afghani dogfight.

Shittiest job in the world: Afghani dogfight referee.

“Yes, Hamid, of course I hate the great Satan, but I, well, I just thought the flag would be… I don’t know… a bit bigger? Where did you get this, off the bags of grain they give us?”

Admittedly, a protest takes on a much different tone as soon as someone pulls out their ax.

It must be frustrating to Canadians: in their eyes, they are different than Americans, but once you hit Afghanistan, it’s all the same. 

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