Friday, February 13, 2009

THE WORLD WILL END THIS FRIDAY AT 6:31 PM EST

Friday evening, nerds around the world will huddle around to watch the Unix clock reach exactly 123456789, and to see if it brings the end of the world as some people have claimed.

Of course once the clock reaches 123456789, it will reset without incident, just like Y2K, and the computer clock in itself will not end the world.

However, one old-school nerd, named Xarl (it’s pronounced “Carl”) is pisssed off. Xarl is  a hardcore hermit nerd from back before nerds became semi-socially acceptable with the popularity of video games, the internet, and comic book based movies, and he’s been blue-balled by more doomsday scenarios than he has women, even including the she-aliens on Star Trek. Now he's had enough.

Just in case the world didn’t end because of the Unix clock, Xarl prepared a massive biological assault with an agent he calls “Vengethraximus” which is really just a shit load of anthrax. Armed with just an associate’s degree, a few common household items, and some rockets he stole from a poorly guarded military base in Nevada, Xarl unleashes the Vengethraximus as part of operation “That’s why you don’t fuck with Xarl” and kills us all at 6:31 PM EST, Friday, February 13th.   

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