Monday, March 2, 2009

STANK OF AMERICA

Yeah, they say it won’t get better until people start putting money back into the banks. Yeah, the same banks that lost all their money. Look Honey, I don’t know why they would do that, but that’s the plan! So are you going to stay at your mom's again tonight?”

AIG lost $62 billion last quarter. You know what? If your insurance company loses $62 billion in three months, they’re not your insurance company any more. They’re just a bunch of assholes who took your money.

The Citi Group’s shares fell 20%, down to $1.20 per share. That’s three shares of Citi Bank for a Claim Jumper frozen meatloaf dinner, if you’re wondering.

Analysts are saying that the market won’t rebound until the financial institutions bounce back, which to me sounds about like putting a leash on a rabid dog that’s attacking you and then lying down on the sidewalk until he cures your rabies. Except, I believe dogs are inherently good creatures.

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