Tuesday, February 1, 2011

EGYPT FAIL PHLOG

Today, Mubarek said he won’t seek re-election. Yeah, not shit. This is his party’s office. Whether or not he “seeks re-election” is pretty damn irrelevant.

Won’t seek reelection? More like won’t see next Tuesday.

“Photo bomb” takes on a whole new meaning in the Middle East.

See?

I wish I had the ethnic heritage to wear that headdress while angry. Drunk and fucking around—sure, but I could never pull it off while I’m trying to make a political statement.

“We will bring down Mubarek in flames like the twin tours and rain down a fiery hell among the infidel Zionist swine who worship a false money idol and the Yankee devils who wear short pants!”

“What the fuck, man!? The world is watching! Fucking embarrassing.”

“This is my sea of tears and broken hope. Only here am I free to feel my heart song and practice my monologue for a documentary on the suffering of children in political upheaval.”

If you crossover from the Army to join the protesters and wear your uniform, you get mad pussy that night. I don’t care what country you’re in: mad pussy.

This is where it gets complicated.

The Bangles were full of shit.

Hot.

Is there anything more placid and comforting than the rainbow formed when a water cannon ricochets of protestors fighting for democracy? Probably, but not in this picture.

“And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. And the rainbow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.”

Egypt Man!

It’s like an ant farm, but with less workers’ rights.

That kid is a-dor-able!

I always wondered how protestors in the Middle East had so many rocks handy: buckets. Fucking brilliant, but then again if you’re planning ahead, can’t you plan a better weapon and get a little more creative? I don’t know, maybe something that’s not as old as the Earth itself.

Is that a hybrid Molotov cocktail/ Medieval flail? Now that’s what I’m talking about.

No. You’re supposed to throw it. Dumbass.

“Were you at Tunis? Tunis was badass. Not as good as Beirut ’05—that was off the hook. I mean, it was no Iran ’09—that run was fuh-reaky good! The Twitter encore was nuts. Totally made my profile pic green. You seen any veg burritos around here? I got nuggz.”

2 comments:

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