"Well, hello, the press. What’s new?"
"Obviously, I can’t tell you anything regarding the examination of phone records, because, well, you’re the press, and I don’t want to leak any information. I mean, what would happen then? You’d be all 'LOL IDK- what happened?' Because I read your text messages."
"Gary Pruitt, how come you don’t call your mother more?"
"Because I have your phone records. That’s a joke. And a threat. Mainly a threat, but it’s funny to me."
“Ok, fine. This is a very serious issue—a very grave issue. I mean, if the Department of Justice, the FBI, and the CIA can’t pull one over on a bunch of J-School grads and communications majors, what fucking hope do we have with China?”
“Fuck you. You’re all getting audited.”